So that’s it. School’s back. The weather has guided us in to Autumn. Christmas merch is in the shops. All this does is remind me that my summer holiday has been discarded to the memory bank with hours of chuntering material.
What was described as a “luxury” hotel, was simply
a cathedral of mild suffering. The list of gripes was endless……
3 coats hangers for my two female travellers
doesn’t cover a day’s clothes let alone the rest of the trip. And who thought
we looked like worthy hanger thieves and attached them to the rail so we
couldn’t pinch them? Also note that the hanging space is designed for crop tops
only. Ladies please fold your dresses 7 times over the hanger as the drop is
insufficient and your husband can’t handle 10 days of female fury.
A hairdryer was provided for our convenience.
However, the distance between the mirror and the nearest plug socket is
precisely 47.5cm longer than the hairdryer flex……but if you unplug the kettle
and plug the hairdryer in there instead, you can use the shiny kettle lid as a
mirror! “Convenience” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.
And there are two tea bags, two coffee pods and
two miniature milk pods (both of which will be used with your first drink).
And both coffee
pods are decaf. And they were replaced once every week or so. In the meantime, I
enjoyed the hot chocolate sachets with an expiry date of 1998.
To ensure a great sleep, “blackout” curtains come
as standard……but they don’t meet in the middle and they are completely useless.
The luxury double bed is simply two singles pushed together……drifting apart during
the night like a doomed relationship trying to avoid intimacy.
Towels will be changed daily for your fresh
convenience. For reference, you will not receive the correct amount of towels each
day and your husband will chunter throughout the holiday with various members
of the front desk, concierge, housekeeping, bar staff, waiters and any guest
prepared to offer any sympathy.
The air‑con (sounding like a
tractor) comes as standard with two settings……Arctic death or Satan’s sauna.
The shower will resemble a drizzle or a fire
hose. Choose between light drizzle or a pressure washer for buses. And don’t
get me started on the complimentary shampoo & conditioner screwed to the
wall with a pump that doesn’t work or the luxury soap the size of an
extra-strong mint.
Signs are erected every 3 metres to politely
remind customers not to reserve beds……which was completely unpoliced except that
one day I did reserve. I then ended up in the shade next to Brenda from South
Shields on a video call to Sandra back home……ALL DAY!
The heat you begged for during the winter is immediately
called “unreasonable”……mainly because “the sun is different here.” Which can be
added to “it’s 34 degrees and that’s ridiculous.” “My knees are sweating and that’s
not normal.” “I’m melting. I’m actually melting.”
Then there is the local food. The traditional
“delicacy” tastes weird. Sandwiches are architectural structures that are so
complicated they require planning permission. “Authentic” dishes require a
suspicious prod before declaring “it’s not like back home.”
And then if you are really lucky, you can
choose the optional excursion offering optional regret. Choose from a boat trip
where you spend 3 hours pretending not to be seasick, a traditional market
where you will buy something you don’t need and lose something you do or a cultural
tour you booked to feel “clever” but will skip because it’s too hot.
All of this is followed by the return to
Blighty. Grey skies greet you like a disappointed parent, followed by rain
within 12 minutes. All to be rounded off with the classic line……“I need another
holiday to recover from that holiday” as if you’ve survived a military
deployment.
Ah yes, a summer of disappointment and regret
to chunter about throughout the winter months.
Can’t wait for next summer already.
The Numbers
The Budget on 28th October is now
the only talk in town. The backdrop looks scary, even allowing for the build up
to Halloween.
UK Government borrowing costs hit their highest
level since the financial crisis of 2007, rising to 5.40%. The sustained
rise in the UK’s borrowing costs is piling pressure on the Government’s
finances in the run-up to the Budget. The ten-year gilt yield stood at 4.9%
when Andy Burnham took office in July, with every 1% rise in the yield
equating to a £12 billion cost to the Exchequer.
Add to this the current rising level of
inflation, currently standing at 3.1%. Little surprise that the Bank of
England has warned that the current 3.75% base rate is likely to rise
soon.
Inflation will only rise as a consequence of
all the knock on effects from the conflict in the Middle East. Diesel hit an
all‑time record high this month of 199.18p per
litre and energy bills are forecast to rise by as much as 26% in January.
This is on top of the Ofgem price cap increase of 4% announced for
October. Wholesale gas prices climbed above 208p a therm, the highest
level since December 2022 and around a 98% increase from late June.
Oil price increased
to $103 a barrel……a significant increase from pre-conflict price of $60
a barrel in January.
Housing numbers of the month…..
Planning approvals for new homes have plunged
to a 13-year low in a blow to Labour’s promise to oversee a
housebuilding revolution. Just 214,515 homes received planning permission over
the last 12 months, representing just 58% of the 370,000 homes a
year identified in the Government’s National Planning Policy Framework as the
level of permissions needed to support its target of delivering 300,000
net additional homes a year.
State Pension numbers of the month…..
The triple lock guarantees offered to the State
Pension will see a 3.9% increase in April 2027 (£488). This will
take the annual payment above £13,000 for the first time and above the £12,570
tax-free personal allowance. Millions will now pay income tax on their State
Pension.
Savings numbers of the month……
New figures show the worrying amount of cash
that is earning paltry interest and not keeping pace with the rising cost of
living. Savers have left almost £1.2 trillion languishing in bank
accounts that pay an average of little over 1%. Of this, £305 billion
was earning 0%.
You’d laugh if it wasn’t true number of the
month……
The cost to consumers of paying wind farms to
switch off when Britain’s electricity grid can’t cope has now exceeded £1
billion this year and is on track for an annual record.
Political number of the month……
Removing a migrant back to France under the ‘one
in, one out deal’ costs the Government £56,000 per person.
Favourite number of the month……Year 8.
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In any month Farage would have got the
attention he deserved. Undercover recordings show Nigel Farage’s advisers secretly
plotting for a foreign donor to pay for off-the-books polling on behalf of the
party (in a potential breach of electoral law), with Farage sitting next to
them.
However, when questioned on the BBC he stated he wasn’t aware of anything as “I frankly wasn’t even listening.” Strange then that Farage later met with the representatives of the donor and told them the polling was “amazing” and provided “bang for buck”, adding: “It worked. Boom.” Yea, good one.
Admirable as his efforts were, Farage must step
aside. For the fifth time this year, the Trump of the Month award goes to……Donald
John Trump.
I have to admit that I sometimes get a little
punch drunk by the amount of buffoonery offered up by The Trump. It is easy to
brush off the latest gaff as just another act of lunacy that no longer
surprises. It’s just Trump being Trump. But we really shouldn’t ignore what is
going on under our noses.
September started with his decision to sign an
order to rename Lake Ontario to Lake America because trade (bullying) talks
broke down. And to ensure it didn’t pick a fight it didn’t want, Apple then
changed the name on it’s mapping system in an act of support. So after 385
years, The Trump changed geographical history because……he could.
The Trump then signed an order that American
children should not receive the MMR vaccine as a single jab as he promoted the
debunked theory that it causes autism. The Trump’s executive order on childhood
vaccines is part of a wider campaign from Republicans to discredit the medical
establishment who are now releasing information on how incompetent The Trump
was during Covid.
The Trump then visited Ireland and walked head
first into a political and historical minefield with all the subtlety of a
foghorn at a yoga retreat. “I’d love to see it (Ireland) unified. It’s going to
happen, it may as well happen now.” You can imagine the response from both
sides of the border.
He then picked another fight with The Fed as he
demanded that interest rates in the US should be lowered to 1% (they are over
3.5% currently), with no economic or inflation argument considered. With
inflation running way above target, The Fed rightly increased interest rates by
0.25%. Presumably, The Trump has “Economics For Dummies” on his Christmas wish
list.
And then the cherry on the cake……he banned some
news outlets from his press conferences (with the ‘acceptable’ ones then
boycotting in support of peers). “There’s something sick about a country that
allows people to write negative stories”.
Sick you say? The U.S. Constitution protects
freedom of speech in the First Amendment, which says the Government cannot make
laws that abridge (limit or reduce) your ability to express ideas.
Or to put that another way, the First Amendment
needs changing to only permit agreement with The Trump.
At a time when he needs all forms of press to
be on his side leading up to the mid-terms, it appears he hasn’t grasped the
basic concept of freedom of speech or positive influence.
I mean, if you were The Trump you could ban the
press……or maybe you could just try doing Presidenting better. You know, give
the press something positive to work with.
I fear that dictating your opinion on all might
just lead to more embarrassment at the hands of those you show contempt
for……the voters. Time will tell.
He’s nothing but consistent!
Trump Lunacy Rating: 10 / 10
And Finally……
“It is a paradox that every dictator has
climbed to power on the ladder of free speech. Immediately on attaining power,
each dictator has suppressed all free speech except his own.”
Herbert Hoover
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