At outset, I think it’s important that I come clean and get this out of the way early doors……I think there are some very good reasons to wish that Keir Rodney Starmer wasn’t the Prime Minister. At the top of this list is that he’s not very good at it and that nobody likes him.
What is worse……these flaws are linked. Being
disliked for your political bravery and boldness is acceptable……but Keir’s
problem is the opposite. Nobody thinks him brave or bold. His only political superpower
is an amazing ability to somehow end up looking complicit in awful things that
have nothing to do with him and any good ideas or acts of principle get swiftly
mulched down into dither.
For context, Mandy is a political figure who
resigned from the cabinet in 1996 for receiving an interest free loan from
another cabinet minister whose business dealings were being investigated……by
Mandy’s department and it slipped his mind to declare the loan.
Then in 2001, Mandy resigned again following accusations
of using his position to influence a passport application for Srichand Hinduja
(an Indian-born British billionaire businessman).
Then throw in Mandy’s close relationship with financier
and convicted child sex offender Jeffrey Epstein……which had been reported in
2019 that he continued the friendship following Epstein's 2008 conviction.
I am no Inspector Poirot but these incidents
would set off alarm bells if you were thinking of appointing Mandy to the most
prestigious Foreign Office position available……US Ambassador. The vetting
process would need to be robust on someone with that ‘form’.
Mandy failing the vetting process is of
absolutely no surprise. Being appointed anyway should be enough to topple any
Prime Minister at any other time in history……but no other time in politics has
The Trump been about.
The Trump is like a billionaire superhero but
whose superpower is turning every press conference into an opportunity to
create mayhem / plot twist / buffoonery and he has the confidence of a man
who’s never lost an argument because he simply refuses to admit he’s in one.
And that is the reason why Keir is still
PM……because the truly crazy situation with Mandy is not even close to the
madness being created by The Trump and it dilutes the situation in the UK. Now
imagine the Mandy situation happened when Obama was President. You get the
picture.
I’m not sure if I am relieved or concerned that
Keir is still in power……I’ll let the local elections in May confirm my
suspicions.
What a time to be alive!
The Numbers
The oil market is now setting the agenda on
Threadneedle Street, with the Bank of England’s ‘wait and see’ policy already
looking doomed.
For the record, the Bank of England voted 8-1
to keep interest rates at 3.75%. Traders are now betting on three 0.25%
increases in June, September and December. Before the Iran conflict started and
the Strait of Hormuz closed, the betting had been on three rate cuts.
Under various scenarios modelled by the
monetary policy committee (oil prices hit and stay at $130 for much of
the rest of the year), inflation, currently at 3.3%, would top 6%.
This would force the Bank to lift borrowing costs back to 5.25% wiping
out the rate cuts of the last two years.
Having inflation way beyond the 2%
target is a world of pain that I don’t think the UK is prepared for. It is all
in the hands of The Trump. Brilliant.
The cost to the UK economy will be around £35
billion over the next 2 years from the global energy crisis caused by the
war in Iran due to the impact on economic growth. And that assumes oil will be back
to $65 a barrel by the end of next year. I’m really not sure if that is
a realistic assumption or not. Again, it’s in the hands of The Trump.
Interestingly……the Treasury is making about £20
million a day in extra revenue from levies and taxes linked to the price of
oil and gas. Compared with the most recent forecasts, the Treasury will bring
in an extra £8 billion a year from VAT on petrol and taxes on the
profits of oil and gas firms.
US businesses shrugged off any immediate gloom
about the growth slowing effect of the Middle East war with jobs up by 178,000.
Net hiring was the strongest in 15 months, pushing unemployment down to 4.3%.
Apparently it was due to better weather and nothing to do with The Trump. (scratches
head and tries to figure out why!)
US jobs a big deal? The US economy is worth $31
trillion and employs 170 million people……the US jobs market is seen
as the barometer for business and investor confidence across the world.
Closer to home……
Awful April is always a brutal month for UK household
finances as utility companies, councils and phone providers hike their bills.
This year was no different and essential household bills will rise by £216
on average per household.
Surprising number of the month……
Only 11% of people pay for their
prescriptions in England.
Unsurprising number of the month……
MPs will have a 5% pay rise from April.
Royal number of the month……
The King received 12 standing ovations
during his speech to Congress.
Favourite number of the month……12……the
(not so) little lady celebrating a birthday!
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Trump of the Month
I’ve tried; I really have……but it’s just too
difficult at the moment. The lunacy on offer has gone to a whole new level……the
consistency in performance is nothing short of admirable.
This month’s Trump of the Month could only be
given to…… Donald
John Trump.
The US has destroyed the Iranian navy eight
times (just to be on the safe side) and closed the Strait of Hormuz because the
US won the war that wasn’t a war. This will then allow the US to open the
Strait of Hormuz that was open before the war (that’s not a war).
The war (that’s not a war) was started to make
sure that the uranium in Iran was completely obliterated……so that the Iranians
couldn’t build a nuclear bomb (that they weren’t building anyway) to use in the
war (that’s not a war) that the US started.
Then the US, which has nuclear weapons, is threatening
to use nuclear weapons to prevent Iran from having nuclear weapons because
having nuclear weapons is super dangerous.
When asked to sum up the current situation by
the BBC, The Trump stated “whatever I’m doing, it seems to be working very well."
Whilst all of this was going on…….
- The Trump effed and jeffed during a live TV
statement
- He picked a fight with the Pope on morality
- Posted a picture of himself depicted as Jesus
- Survived another assassination attempt
- Declared there would be “no more Mr Nice Guy”
regarding his next actions with Iran (“nice” is doing a lot of heavy lifting
here).
If the US could see what the US is doing, the
US would invade the US to liberate the US from the tyranny of the US.
Trump Lunacy Rating: 10 / 10
And Finally……
“War is God’s way of teaching Americans
geography”
Ambrose Bierce
