It will come as no surprise to anyone that I love living by rules……I work in a heavily regulated environment where rules dictate behaviour……I was a football referee who guided 22 players through 90 minutes by applying rules……and I am an absolute nerd at sticking to those unwritten rules we live by.
- Only putting the recycling out on the day of collection.
- Always thanking another driver for letting you through.
- Always asking “sorry, are you in the queue?” whenever there is doubt that you could be pushing in.
- Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
- Expecting bills to travel through the post at twice the speed of any refund.
- Accepting that junk is something that is kept for years and then thrown away three weeks before it’s needed.
- Never lick a steak knife.
- Never touch another person’s fries. Ever.
- Always ask for the bill in a restaurant by pretending to write in the air with an invisible pen.
- When walking upstairs behind a woman, the stairs instantly become the most interesting thing in your life ever.
- If you borrow something for a third time, you need one of your own.
- Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.
Simple and effective unwritten rules that make life all the easier and ones that I absolutely stick to. The problem is, I expect others to live by them as well……and that’s where the problem lies.
Rishi is a great example of someone I find frustrating by not playing by the unwritten rules.
Example 1: Never employ someone in your cabinet who is simply vile and front page fodder that you will never be able to defend. Yet, Rishi thought Suella Braverman was a good idea.
Example 2: Always choose someone from your political party that has been elected as an MP to sit in your cabinet or it will annoy those elected MPs. Yet Rishi thought it a good idea to ignore 349 elected Conservative MPs and promote David Cameron to Foreign Secretary instead. Hardly a vote of confidence in his elected colleagues! What next…..Pitt the Younger as Chancellor! Thank goodness Farage is in the jungle or Rishi would have made him deputy PM!
To be fair, David Cameron’s return gives hope to everyone that it doesn’t matter how badly you mess up in a job, if you wait around long enough you can always have a second chance. Presumably Liz Truss is watching with interest.
Example 3: Before a cabinet reshuffle, make sure that you don’t end up with egg on your face. Yet Rishi sacked the housing minister the day before key housing reform measures were to be debated in Parliament. Or appointing Victoria Atkins as Health Secretary when her husband is Chief Executive of one of the world’s biggest sugar companies (British Sugar) and you are politically reluctant to take action on obesity and the promotion of unhealthy foods.
Example 4: If you are going to create a new position in your cabinet, make sure that it is credible and will stand the test of time. Yet Rishi created a new position of ‘Common Sense Tsar’. It’s the kind of idea that would be floated, and rejected, by a pupil’s council in a primary school. What on earth was Rishi think?
The Conservatives have invented an unusually large number of new posts over the years. The ‘Minister for Brexit Opportunities’ or the ‘Minister for Levelling Up’ have yet to be really adopted by the public……probably because there is nothing to put your finger on anything they’ve done. Literally.
The biggest common sense failure of the Common Sense Tsar is a very obvious one: if there now needs to be, at the highest levels of Government, a Common Sense Tsar, it brutally suggests that all the other Governmental departments and ministers aren’t using common sense.
The first rule of a genuine Common Sense club would be abolishing something as nonsensical as a Common Sense club and all Tsars it nominates. It’s just … common sense.
Come on Rishi……you are better than this. It’s all about living by the unwritten rules.
The Numbers
Two big announcements dominated the figures this month.
The first came from the Bank of England with their inflation announcement……a sharp fall……down to 4.6%.
It's the lowest rate since November 2021, which was mainly down to lower energy prices. Gas costs are down by 31% in comparison to a year ago, with electricity prices down 15.6%.
UK inflation has been consistently above other G7 economies but is now beginning to fall back in line with peers. Latest estimates show the equivalent headline inflation in the US fell to 3% and it is averaging at 2.9% in the Eurozone.
As you can imagine, there were lots of 'inflation halved' celebrations from politicians. Yet prices are still rising and are well above the Bank of England target.
It's interesting that when there is high inflation due to global factors, such as energy prices, the Tories say it's nothing to do with them. When inflation falls due to global factors, such as energy prices, suddenly this is because of specific measures Rishi has taken. Let’s be really clear on this……rising inflation slowing is not the result of Government as it is down to falling energy prices and sky high interest rates. Neither are controlled by the Government.
The second announcement was Jezza’s Autumn Statement in Parliament against a backdrop of flatlining growth, warnings on inflation and dire opinion polls. It was 51 minutes of political hot air that could have been summarised in 2 minutes. The key headlines included:
- The ‘triple lock’ on State Pension increases was confirmed to be 8.5%. The full State Pension is to increase to £221.20 per week from April 2024, a £900 per year increase.
- The Inflation forecast from the Office for Budget Responsibility (OBR) suggests it will be 2.8% by end of 2024 and hitting the 2% target in 2025. We shall see.
- The OBR expects negligible economic growth in the run up to the General Election……0.6% this year, 0.7% next year and 1.4% in 2025, which is not exactly a boom. It is obviously good that the economy has avoided recession but we are struggling our way back up to 2%.
- National Insurance was cut from 12% to 10%.
- National Living Wage for over-21s will be increased from £10.42 to £11.44 an hour.
- The government plans to launch a sale of NatWest shares over the next 12 months, as it aims to fully sell its 38.7% stake in the bank by 2026. Expect the queue for buyers to be short.
Interestingly / slyly / connivingly, Jezza ‘forgot’ to mention that less than 24 hours after his speech, Ofgem would be increasing the energy price cap to £1,928, a rise of 5%. Another rise in bills for so many already struggling to pay……yet not a single mention of this increase, insulation or energy efficiency in his speech.
Trump of the Month
Ignoring Rishi’s spectacular incompetence with his cabinet reshuffle (deckchairs and titanic come to mind!), there could only be one winner of the Trump of the Month……Suella Braverman.
When I read the headline that Suzy wanted to ban tents, I was all on board with that. Let’s be fair, going camping for a family holiday is only ever going to end in family squabbles and the quick realisation that it isn’t a holiday. Banning camping made a lot of sense and I was quickly all for it.
Reading further though, my support was misguided. The (then) Home Secretary sparked controversy by claiming that rough sleepers were making a “lifestyle choice” and she wanted to ban homeless people from sleeping in tents. Suzy was pushing for powers to restrict the use of tents by homeless people in urban areas, including by making it a civil offence for charities to distribute them.
I always thought lifestyle choices were things such as cargo pants with a matching jumper wrapped loosely over your shoulders, crocheting and decorating your bathroom with a bowl of potpourri.
Homelessness happens when housing policy fails, there is a lack of social homes, sky high private rents, rising evictions and the ongoing cost of living crisis. Poverty is not a lifestyle choice. It is a political choice that she is a part of.
Unlike being homeless, being an evil heartless (insert word of choice) IS a lifestyle choice.
Trump Lunacy Rating: 10 / 10
And Finally……
“Present fears are less than horrible imaginings.”
William Shakespeare
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