The Month That Was……April 2026

At outset, I think it’s important that I come clean and get this out of the way early doors……I think there are some very good reasons to wish that Keir Rodney Starmer wasn’t the Prime Minister. At the top of this list is that he’s not very good at it and that nobody likes him.

What is worse……these flaws are linked. Being disliked for your political bravery and boldness is acceptable……but Keir’s problem is the opposite. Nobody thinks him brave or bold. His only political superpower is an amazing ability to somehow end up looking complicit in awful things that have nothing to do with him and any good ideas or acts of principle get swiftly mulched down into dither.

Two weeks ago everything got even worse. To recap, his amazingly disastrous decision to appoint Peter Mandelson as US Ambassador (over which he had already thrown Morgan McSweeney under the bus because nothing is ever his fault) abruptly came to look even worse as it emerged that Mandy had failed the original vetting process.

For context, Mandy is a political figure who resigned from the cabinet in 1996 for receiving an interest free loan from another cabinet minister whose business dealings were being investigated……by Mandy’s department and it slipped his mind to declare the loan. 

Then in 2001, Mandy resigned again following accusations of using his position to influence a passport application for Srichand Hinduja (an Indian-born British billionaire businessman).

Then throw in Mandy’s close relationship with financier and convicted child sex offender Jeffrey Epstein……which had been reported in 2019 that he continued the friendship following Epstein's 2008 conviction.

I am no Inspector Poirot but these incidents would set off alarm bells if you were thinking of appointing Mandy to the most prestigious Foreign Office position available……US Ambassador. The vetting process would need to be robust on someone with that ‘form’.

Mandy failing the vetting process is of absolutely no surprise. Being appointed anyway should be enough to topple any Prime Minister at any other time in history……but no other time in politics has The Trump been about. 

The Trump is like a billionaire superhero but whose superpower is turning every press conference into an opportunity to create mayhem / plot twist / buffoonery and he has the confidence of a man who’s never lost an argument because he simply refuses to admit he’s in one.

And that is the reason why Keir is still PM……because the truly crazy situation with Mandy is not even close to the madness being created by The Trump and it dilutes the situation in the UK. Now imagine the Mandy situation happened when Obama was President. You get the picture.

I’m not sure if I am relieved or concerned that Keir is still in power……I’ll let the local elections in May confirm my suspicions.

What a time to be alive! 

The Numbers

The oil market is now setting the agenda on Threadneedle Street, with the Bank of England’s ‘wait and see’ policy already looking doomed.

For the record, the Bank of England voted 8-1 to keep interest rates at 3.75%. Traders are now betting on three 0.25% increases in June, September and December. Before the Iran conflict started and the Strait of Hormuz closed, the betting had been on three rate cuts.

Under various scenarios modelled by the monetary policy committee (oil prices hit and stay at $130 for much of the rest of the year), inflation, currently at 3.3%, would top 6%. This would force the Bank to lift borrowing costs back to 5.25% wiping out the rate cuts of the last two years.

Having inflation way beyond the 2% target is a world of pain that I don’t think the UK is prepared for. It is all in the hands of The Trump. Brilliant.

The cost to the UK economy will be around £35 billion over the next 2 years from the global energy crisis caused by the war in Iran due to the impact on economic growth. And that assumes oil will be back to $65 a barrel by the end of next year. I’m really not sure if that is a realistic assumption or not. Again, it’s in the hands of The Trump.

Interestingly……the Treasury is making about £20 million a day in extra revenue from levies and taxes linked to the price of oil and gas. Compared with the most recent forecasts, the Treasury will bring in an extra £8 billion a year from VAT on petrol and taxes on the profits of oil and gas firms.

US businesses shrugged off any immediate gloom about the growth slowing effect of the Middle East war with jobs up by 178,000. Net hiring was the strongest in 15 months, pushing unemployment down to 4.3%. Apparently it was due to better weather and nothing to do with The Trump. (scratches head and tries to figure out why!)

US jobs a big deal? The US economy is worth $31 trillion and employs 170 million people……the US jobs market is seen as the barometer for business and investor confidence across the world.

Closer to home……

Awful April is always a brutal month for UK household finances as utility companies, councils and phone providers hike their bills. This year was no different and essential household bills will rise by £216 on average per household.

Surprising number of the month……

Only 11% of people pay for their prescriptions in England.

Unsurprising number of the month……

MPs will have a 5% pay rise from April.

Royal number of the month……

The King received 12 standing ovations during his speech to Congress.

Favourite number of the month……12……the (not so) little lady celebrating a birthday!

Trump of the Month

I’ve tried; I really have……but it’s just too difficult at the moment. The lunacy on offer has gone to a whole new level……the consistency in performance is nothing short of admirable.

This month’s Trump of the Month could only be given to…… Donald John Trump.

In case you have been avoiding the news…….

The US has destroyed the Iranian navy eight times (just to be on the safe side) and closed the Strait of Hormuz because the US won the war that wasn’t a war. This will then allow the US to open the Strait of Hormuz that was open before the war (that’s not a war).

The war (that’s not a war) was started to make sure that the uranium in Iran was completely obliterated……so that the Iranians couldn’t build a nuclear bomb (that they weren’t building anyway) to use in the war (that’s not a war) that the US started.

Then the US, which has nuclear weapons, is threatening to use nuclear weapons to prevent Iran from having nuclear weapons because having nuclear weapons is super dangerous.

When asked to sum up the current situation by the BBC, The Trump stated “whatever I’m doing, it seems to be working very well."

Whilst all of this was going on…….

- The Trump effed and jeffed during a live TV statement

- He picked a fight with the Pope on morality

- Posted a picture of himself depicted as Jesus

- Survived another assassination attempt

- Declared there would be “no more Mr Nice Guy” regarding his next actions with Iran (“nice” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here).

Wow! Even by The Trump’s remarkable standards, this is a month of craziness that will live long in the memory.

If the US could see what the US is doing, the US would invade the US to liberate the US from the tyranny of the US.

Trump Lunacy Rating: 10 / 10

And Finally……

“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography”

Ambrose Bierce