The Month That Was August......2021

One of the quaint things I really enjoy about England is the advanced doorway etiquette we adopt. When two people meet at a doorway going in opposite directions, it triggers a burst of complex, silent and unfathomably intricate social calculations to try and determine who should step aside.

You would think people could just briefly discuss it, accept the terms of the conversation and move on with their day. But it is forbidden to go against the rules to strike up a conversation with a passer-by. An awkward silent approach must be adopted. 

If you get it wrong one way, you might end up touching a stranger or performing a doorway foxtrot rendition. If you get it wrong the other way, you end up standing there both awkwardly trying to avoid going through for what feels like eternity.

And this all pretty much sums up where we stand with the two most important political and economic individuals we have. BoJo spluttering through the doorway that we will spend and take on projects like never before all for the benefit of the north……it’s all about the north. With Rishi moving in an opposite direction with an empty purse, a load of debt and figures that don’t stack up. 

It's a pretty comprehensive list of political doorway jostling that the two are compiling, the latest being the State Pension (see below). Then add in Rishi being BoJo’s biggest threat to the throne……it is far from certain political times when clarity and unity is the one thing we absolutely need after 18 months of a pandemic.

It’s uncomfortable viewing……let’s hope it doesn’t make for uncomfortable living.       

 

The Numbers

It is not every month I get to comment on figures that show the economy grew by 4.8% in a single quarter and was more than 22% bigger than a year earlier. In fact, I can confidently predict that I will never do so again. 

The rest of the world is looking on with optimism, with the International Monetary Fund reporting that Britain's economy will grow faster than any major economy in Europe with 7% growth this year. This would be the strongest year for economic growth since comparable records began following World War II.

The pace of the recovery has stalled though. The “pingdemic” hit both consumer spending and staffing in the country’s dominant services sector (which accounts for 80% of GDP). Labour shortages, rising wages and higher costs also drove companies to raise their prices at the fastest pace in at least 25 years. Companies were left with no option but to reduce operations. 

Changes came in this month for furlough that will see employers asked to contribute 20% towards the salaries of those whose wages are being subsidised by the state. Official data showed 1.9 million people were still furloughed.

On the other hand……job vacancies have hit a record high as the UK's labour market continues to "rebound robustly", according to the latest official figures. The number of vacancies hit 953,000 according to the Office for National Statistics. 

With the unemployment rate falling to 4.7% and the annual growth in average pay up 7.4%, the labour and recruiting market will continue to be interesting!

The US economy is now bigger than before Covid in a huge consumer-led recovery, thanks mainly to a huge $1.9 trillion stimulus package. Recovery at a price! 

The Eurozone is officially out of recession after the economy grew by 2%. However, the Eurozone remains 3% down from its pre-pandemic level in late 2019.

Economists have reduced their forecasts for growth in China after weaker than expected figures due to new Covid-19 outbreaks and disruptive floods have slowed the momentum of economic recovery in the world’s second biggest economy. Growth has slowed to 6.4% per cent year-on-year, lower than the 7.8% expected. 

£7,000,000……the amount David Cameron made for lobbying his mates at Westminster on behalf of Greensill Capital before the finance company collapsed.

I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble... but shouldn't that be an even number? 

Trump of the Month

Despite it being holiday season for most, there has been no shortage of lunacy and foolishness for consideration this month. So much of it commendable and worthy of recognition.

 

 

Recognition #1: Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab lectured Nato allies on the threat of cyber-hacks to western Governments. In the same week, it was found that the Foreign Secretary’s personal mobile number has been online for decades. 

Presumably he went the whole way and had it listed in the phone-book for his minicab firm, “AAAAAA1111Raabvaark Cars.”

(That’s a joke for all the ‘old’ people who remember phone books. Thank you, old people. Thank you for reading to my joke.) 

Trump Lunacy Rating: 7.5 / 10

 

Recognition #2: Gavin Williamson

Education Secretary Gavin Williamson is to pour £4 million of taxpayer money to support learning Latin in state schools.   

Surely teaching basic first aid, home finance skills or anything other than Latin would be more useful?

Quite simply……Quid Stultus 

Trump Lunacy Rating: 8.5 / 10

 

Recognition #3: Grant Shapps

Transport Secretary Grant Shapps faced a backlash from ministers after the Government abandoned plans for a new international travel watchlist that would have given warning of amber countries going to red (meaning holidaymakers would have to quarantine in hotels for ten days on their return). 

Shapps failed to do the maths that putting Spain in red would mean more than 500,000 Brits having to quarantine in the 58,000 hotel rooms held on reserve.

I naively assumed that the travel traffic light system was based on the threat that arrivals brought to the UK. It now appears that it is simply whether we can accommodate the numbers arriving. What a mess. 

Trump Lunacy Rating: 9 / 10

 

Recognition #4: Duchess of Sussex

Megan launched her 40x40 campaign which involves her asking 40 friends to contribute 40 minutes of mentoring to support women re-entering the workforce. Watching the promotional video she announced her desire to help women “mobilising back into the workforce” after Covid. 

How did we even end up with a workplace mentor who famously doesn’t work? It’s bonkers that in 2021 when our world is filled with so many talented female politicians, scientists and academics, one of the most talked about and influential female figures is still someone who doesn’t have a proper job. What have we done to deserve that?

Trump Lunacy Rating: 8 / 10 

 

Recognition #5: Alok Sharma

He made 30 international trips by air in the last 7 months. This, ladies and gentlemen, is our Climate Minister who is currently responsible for:

- Leading the preparations for the global Climate Change Conference 2021. 

- Chairing the Climate Action Implementation Cabinet Committee to coordinate Government action towards net zero by 2050.

No further questions your honour. 

Trump Lunacy Rating: 9.5 / 10

 

Recognition #6: Sajid Javid

A “communications playbook” issued by the Government to local NHS Trusts says that new wings at hospitals should be described as “a new hospital” as it strives to meet a manifesto pledge. 

In the 2019 election campaign the Conservatives pledged to build 40 hospitals over a decade. Together with 8 existing schemes this would, the party said, be “the biggest hospital-building programme in a generation”.

This month the Health Secretary (Sajid Javid) described the Northern Centre for Cancer Care, the first of the 48 to open, as “a new hospital”. It’s not new……it is part of the Cumberland Infirmary in Carlisle. 

I guess we are all guilty of misleading a little. I mean, come on……who hasn’t described their new conservatory as a “new home” over the years.

Utter madness. 

Trump Lunacy Rating: 9 / 10

 

I’m sure you would agree all are deserving candidates but this month’s winner of Trump of the Month for services to lunacy is……Rishi Sunak. 

The ‘triple lock’ pledge was a BoJo chest thumping manifesto commitment to increase the State Pension each year by the highest of three figures — average earnings, inflation or 2.5%. Whilst it could have been viewed as a vote sweetener, there is real substance and importance to ensure that the State Pension keeps its purchasing power for those that really value it. Too many rely on it for basic living means for it to be anything other than significant.     

But here’s the problem……wages have bounced back sharply after the relaxation of lockdown restrictions, with total earnings poised to rise by around 8.8%. Raising the state pension in line with wages would cost the government an additional £8 billion and lead to the state pension rising to just over £10,000 next year.

Rishi has hinted that the triple lock could be broken to ensure "fairness for pensioners and taxpayers". There is no reason in law why the Chancellor cannot change the way earnings are judged in the triple lock system. 

This is a classic example of BoJo and Rishi at a political doorway going in opposite directions.

Regardless of whether action is taken on the triple-lock matters little……simply considering moving the goalposts is unforgiveable. 

It is total madness. Surely we have enough creative people at Westminster that could create the finances elsewhere to fund this? Surely?

Trump Lunacy Rating: 10 / 10 

 

And Finally……

“Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care”.

Theodore Roosevelt