Just when you thought that you couldn’t take
much more of the political constipation surrounding Brexit, the EU has given us
another 6 months to find a suitable laxative. And who’s to say that will be
sufficient time!
In yet another twist, the 29th March
became the 12th April which became 31st October. Pick a
date……any date……and you will be as accurate as anyone politically on when
Brexit actually happens. If it happens. The UK politically is in such a mess.
Values, integrity and ethos have never been more important or more scarce.
Here’s how April 2019 will be remembered……
Brextension
We didn’t leave last month, despite it being in
law. We didn’t leave this month either. I’m not really sure which month we will
leave. The things I’ve learnt this month on Brexit include……
A 2 year notice period to leave the EU can
pretty much last as long as the EU wants. Apparently ‘2 years’ is so last
year……it’s all about the 3 years now. A cliff edge deadline is as cliff edge as
Cliff Richard running out of fake tan. Far from edgy.
In some kind of sick joke, the new date of
leaving is 31st October……Halloween! Me thinks the EU is not taking
this seriously. Can you imagine anything scarier than 650 incompetent MP’s
dressed up like……the MP’s they are meant to be and going around scaring people
with some actual ideas!
Such is Theresa May’s distrust of her own
cabinet, she locked them in the cabinet room whilst she delivered a live speech
on TV so they couldn’t leak the news.
Parliament responded to Donald Tusk’s plea not
to waste the 6 month Brexit extension by knuckling down to a 2 week holiday
(apparently the past 3 year holiday trail has been a great success).
There is a new word on the street made up by
the French for the flexible Brexit extension……‘Flextension’. Comedy gold from
those crazy French.
Such is the dislike and distrust amongst her
own political party, Theresa May sees negotiating with the opposition party rather
than her own party far more appealing as she has held numerous meetings with
Jeremy Corbyn. It all does have the feel of Jeremy Corbyn being on work
experience at Number 10.
Stop the political police……I actually agreed
with something that Ian Duncan Smith said: “Jeremy Corbyn is one of the most
politically dangerous and incompetent politicians in Britain”. Firm but fair.
However, it is a very strong category this year.
Jacob Rees-Mogg makes more sense in Latin than
English.
Head of the Theresa May fan club, Jeremy Hunt,
believes that “Theresa May shouldn’t be replaced until after Brexit”. Well,
that could make her the longest-serving Prime Minister in history.
Bizarrely there has been an economic uplift due
to Brexit. However this has been mainly caused by stockpiling to cover our
bases in case we ever crash out. Panic buying = economic Brexit boost. Bizarre.
So there you have it……another 6 months of this
political constipation……if not more. Clearly, more than ever, the EU have all
the power - not Westminster. Call me crazy, but that was the whole point of the
referendum……to take back control. But we can’t unless it’s on EU terms!
2016:
“Let’s take back control”
2019:
“Let’s wait outside in the corridor while 27
other leaders decide our country’s fate”
As the New York Times summarised perfectly: We can smirk and laugh at all that has gone
on to date with Brexit. However, in truth, it’s not very funny. It’s actually
tragic. What we’re seeing is a country that’s determined to commit economic
suicide but can’t even agree on how to kill itself. It is an epic failure of
political leadership.
Delay
Belay
In my sector, the regulator, the Financial
Conduct Authority, has spent over 300,000 additional hours and employed 67
additional staff to work on Brexit related issues since April 2018. This has
come at a cost of more than £11 million.
If only they could've spent that money cleaning
up the finance industry. If only.
Mueller Light
In the US, the
Mueller Report was made public and outlined the findings of the investigation
to determine if there was a Trump-Russia conspiracy during the presidential campaign.
In the end
there was a lot of smoke but no presidency-ending fire. After 657 days, more
than 2,800 subpoenas, nearly 500 search warrants, a budget of tens of millions
of dollars and a report filling 448 redacted pages, Robert Mueller’s crack team
of lawyers and investigators cleared Donald Trump and his campaign team of
conspiring with Russian agents to influence the 2016 presidential election.
All of which
has left America wondering: what on earth was that about?
However, such
is the venom of his political opposition, there could now be a fresh angle of
impeachment as The Trump could be guilty of obstructing the Mueller
investigation.
This will take time and The Trump could be
elected President again next year (with or without some Eastern European
support!) before this comes close to a conclusion.
Like Brexit, it’s the story that just won’t go
away.
The Eagle
Soars
Love or loath, The Trump has put fire in the
belly of the US economy……results highlighting that it had roared ahead in the first
three months of the year. At 3.2% (annualised), this was the strongest first
quarter since 2015. As the world’s largest economy and a key trading partner of
the UK, a healthy US is a healthy UK. Normally.
The results will provide a boost to The Trump
because rapid growth is the foundation of his economic policy. Never one to
miss an opportunity to be modest, The Trump claimed: “The economy is doing
great. We’re No 1 economy right now in the world and it’s not even close”.
What he doesn’t say is that he needs to achieve
the fastest economic expansion in a generation to offset the cost of the tax
cuts that he implemented last year, which will cost about $1.5 trillion.
We shall see.
High Oil
Surging oil price has turned up the heat on
inflation as Britain’s economy could be exposed by a growing squeeze on crude
supplies.
In short, The Trump would not renew sanctions
waivers for countries that buy oil from Iran after they expire on May 2. At the
same time, Germany, Poland and Slovakia have suspended imports of Russian oil
via a key pipeline, citing poor quality. The decision sent oil prices surging
amid rising doubts over supply.
Given the ‘real’ condition of the UK economy,
high inflation is the last thing that is needed at the moment.
Borrowing
Bonus
Government borrowing fell to its lowest annual
level in 17 years, official figures show. Borrowing was at £24.7 billion, which is £17.2 billion
less than in the previous financial year. Clearly good news.
Economists believe the reduction should give
the Government freedom to ease the austerity measures of the last decade.
However, The
Chancellor reiterated that "until we have resolved the Brexit issue I
don't think it makes sense".
Damn that Brexit.
April’s Biggest Loser……Option 1 – Nigel
Farage (2nd Month Running)
Nigel Farage has reared his head again to
launch his new pollical party……the Brexit Party. During the party launch he
declared, "I said that if I did come back into the political fray it would
be no more Mr Nice Guy and I mean it." Let’s be frank……nobody thinks he’s
a nice guy……and I mean it.
“The Brexit Party could win the General Election”,
said seven-time defeated MP candidate.
April’s Biggest Loser……Option 2 – Ann
Noreen Widdecombe
Ann Widdecombe is to return to politics as she
announced that she would stand as a Brexit Party candidate in the European
Parliament elections……even though she would still vote for the Conservatives in
the local elections scheduled for three weeks earlier.
Confused? Welcome to UK politics.
Clearly the European Parliament is paying more
than Strictly A Celebrity on Ice this year.
I give up.
April’s Biggest Loser……Option 3 – Boris
Johnson
The Commons Standards Committee says Boris
Johnson breached House of Commons rules by failing to declare a financial
interest in a property in Somerset within the required time limit. This is on
the back of similar findings in December when Mr Johnson was late with a
declaration of £52,000 in book royalty payments.
Well, I for one am shocked that a man who lied
his way through a referendum and was at the top of an organisation that broke
the law should have breached any rules. I’m sure he’s usually pretty honest
when it comes to money (see picture above). Honest.
And Finally……
The world's richest man, Amazon founder Jeff
Bezos, and his wife MacKenzie have agreed a record-breaking divorce settlement.
Just imagine having to ‘settle’ for £27 billion in the split! What’s Melania
Trump waiting for……she would settle for less surely!
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