The Month That Was……August 2023

I took a few days off this month and decided to keep things very traditional……a break in the Yorkshire Dales being, well, bloody British. This obviously meant spending too much time inside chuntering about the weather and waiting for a 5 minute break in the rain to smell the (damp) fresh air.  

But my time waiting for that 5 minutes wasn’t wasted and some positive life conclusions were found:

- There is nothing in life as soothing as an animal yawning.

 Getting a fly to leave your house is the most complex operation known to man. It's completely baffling how flies can accidentally end up coming into your house when you consider just how big outside is.

- The saying “better than a kick in the teeth” sums up British levels of optimism, expectation and acceptance perfectly.

- I would love to know the stats on how many divorces were caused because of arguments over dishwasher stacking. I’d say if everyone was honest it’s a strong 90%. A lightweight tupperware lunch box incorrectly put on the top shelf that ‘flips’ and fills nicely to the brim with the dirty water and then soaks the clean dishes at the bottom is a clear reason for divorce. Definitely 90%.

- It’s now impossible to ‘pick up a few bits” from the supermarket without it costing £54.

- As retailer Wilko collapses, WH Smith somehow manages to cling on. We live in a sick world. It’s got to be their iron grip on airports that’s keeping them going. Wilko, like Woolworths, did pic n mix……whereas WH Smith always stayed away. There’s a lesson for all retailers right there.

- There is no greater stress than ‘those’ people who decide to queue to the side of someone rather than directly and obviously behind them. What on earth do you think you’re doing? Your behaviour is odd, distressing and is causing mental chaos for many. Stop it.

- Only a Brit would look at a portion of rice and think “I know what would go well with that… a portion of chips”.

- Starting a sentence by quietly saying “look” is a clear warning that you're completely consumed with rage.

- I can still remember my best friend’s landline number from when I was 7……but recounting my wife’s mobile number is beyond me (it’s been the same number for over 20 years).

- I stare angrily at the ‘Quiet Coach’ sign in the hope it will cause the loud person to be ejected through the roof of the train. It never does though.

- There is never a more satisfying feeling than when you’ve given your desk a damn good tidy.

- Never has the month of August been so good for the garden.

- Accidentally inching forward a bit at the traffic lights is a guaranteed way to tell the car to your side that you've challenged them to a race.

- There’s nothing a cup of tea can’t cure. Apparently.

- You’re not truly having guests around unless you’ve decanted some posh crisps into a bowl. Indeed, nothing says domestic sophistication in Britain more than the decanting of crisps.

- I learnt that Nigel Farage is 3 years younger than Gary Lineker and I’m not sure what to do with that information other than maybe eat more crisps. I had a similar reaction to the realisation that Jay Z and Jacob Rees-Mogg are the same age.

I am sure you would agree……the rain induced downtime has been well used.

The Numbers

A puzzle, disguised as a problem, wrapped up in a conundrum, creating a dilemma. Welcome to the world of UK inflation 2023.

August started with the Bank of England’s announcement on interest rates……a further rise of 0.25% to 5.25%. This is the 14^th consecutive interest rate rise and a 15-year high.

All eyes were then on August’s pay and price (AKA inflation) figures.

First came the announcement that wages grew at a record annual pace of 7.8%, the highest since comparable records began in 2001. Then came the news of inflation reducing from 7.9% to 6.8%. ‘Stable’ is not a word that comes to mind.

The Bank of England Governor, Andrew Bailey, said “once both prices and pay are stable, then rates would drop”. This month’s figures were far from ‘stable’.

To put this another way, inflation can’t hit the target of 2% if we are earning more than that.  

Not welcome figures and it points to more interest rate rises from September. We are certainly not at the interest rate peak.

Perhaps the biggest challenge for the Bank of England is to explain why interest rate rises have had so little impact, despite causing huge pain to hundreds of thousands of mortgage holders and other borrowers. This is the biggest credibility test it has faced.

The key indicator of when the interest rate pain is working is when unemployment increases sufficiently. When businesses start to fail or reduce employment numbers, unemployment will go up. And when unemployment goes up, there will be a greater pool of people to fill less vacancies. The greater the pool, the cheaper the wages that need to be paid……bringing inflation down as a consequence.  

This month’s announcement from the ONS's employment data suggested that the UK jobs market is weakening, with the unemployment rate rising from 4% to 4.2% and the number of people in jobs ticked lower. This will be welcomed by the Bank of England as a sign labour market conditions are cooling……but not cold enough though. Clearly, interest rates need to be more painful and more pain is in the post.

My own favourite number this month……250……the number of years Honister Slate Mine has been in operation……which obviously meant that a certain Daddy and Daughter felt obliged to climb! 

Trump of the Month

There has been quite an abundance of entries for the monthly award for lunacy and all are very worthy candidates.

Huw Pill (Bank of England Chief Economist) informed all in a recent speech that “there's an equal risk that inflation could fall too far below the Bank’s 2% target in the next 2 years or it could prove stubbornly high, leading to more monetary tightening”. A perfect forecast……it might be too high or too low. This is the UK’s top economist and we pay him £197,217 a year. Mental. 

Liz Truss……remember her? She could have demurred when it came to the announcement of her resignation honours list and won back some respect……but she persisted. Her nomination list included people who, during her five minutes as Prime Minister, stayed steadfastly at her side while she crashed the economy and presumably didn’t once say: “You are stupid and this is mad.”

Whilst BoJo’s resignation honours list was simply ghastly, Lizzie trashed the values of excellence, achievement and integrity that should underpin such awards. Crazy. 

Interestingly, the list didn’t include the financial master Kwasi Kwarteng. Presumably even she thought he was too insane for an honour given his interview this month where he admitted that the mini-budget turmoil they created affected his mortgage. To put that another way, he's having to pay the 'moron premium' for screwing up our economy too.

Personally, I don't think you should be allowed to be the Chancellor of the Exchequer if you are stupid enough to have a tracker mortgage since 2021 when Bank of England interest rates were near to 0%. What was he thinking? 

Oliver Dowden (Deputy Prime Minister) showed equally idiotic economic skills when wheeled out to do media duties in Rishi’s absence (as a Disney world tourist).

“Raising interest rates will grow the economy” he proclaimed proudly.

Now hang on a minute Oli……let me explain this. There may be good reasons to raise interest rates, but growing the economy definitely isn’t one of them. Ever. You see, raising interest rates is to create depressed spending and this reduces the size of the economy……which is the complete opposite of what you believe. It’s basic economics Oli. Fool.

However, there could only ever be one winner for August’s Trump of The Month……The Trump!

In case you missed it……

The Trump received a third indictment when charged with trying to overturn the 2020 election. And just as the dust settled, he received a fourth indictment charged with attempting to overturn his 2020 election defeat in the state of Georgia.

These indictments are arguably the most momentous in the US’s 247-year history because it goes right to the heart of the electoral system that underpins American democracy.

Oh, in case you forgot……the other two indictments are for 37 counts of falsifying tax returns to conceal alleged hush money payments to two women who claimed affairs with him and 40 charges relating to the classified documents he kept from his time as president.

He now faces a total of 91 criminal charges as he campaigns to take back the White House in a potential rematch with Biden at the 2024 general election. He will face a jury in Washington DC, an area where 92% of voters supported Biden in 2020.

Such is The Trump’s crazy ego, there is the extraordinary possibility that the United States could sentence one of its former presidents to jail in the same year he seeks to return to the White House.

The Trump’s response was to claim a conspiracy and witch hunt (obviously) and his legal team will now do all it can to string this out and delay court start dates.

Let's be clear. Despite The Trump’s claim, he has not been indicted by Biden, Clinton, Pelosi, Soros, Big Bird, Wokeness, Disney World, the pride flag, critical race theory or Barbie. The Trump was indicted by private citizens as the US Constitution requires. End of.

Everything you need to know about the lunacy of The Trump is contained in those four indictments and him still believing he is a good choice to run for Presidency.

Absolute nutter.

Trump Lunacy Rating: 10 / 10

And Finally……

“Knowledge and ego are directly related. The less knowledge, the greater the ego.”

Albert Einstein

The Month That Was......July 2023

As the joint Chief Executive Officer of a spirited nine year old, global warming and the state of the environment that is passed on to her is an ongoing concern. The recent sweltering weather in many parts of Europe breaking records daily caused me to check my environmental compass yet again. Am I doing all I can?

The Government (in their wisdom) is advising us to put less in the recycling bin because so much of it (crisp packets, juice cartons, toothpaste tubes) can’t be recycled and it is contaminating the system.

Rather than compelling manufacturers to create alternative packaging for certain products, the onus is on consumers. Manufacturers are simply off the hook. They can sleep at night. The burden, it’s on us. We are deemed the packaging and recycling experts and it’s all our fault. We are bad people.

And get this……putting the wrong item into the recycling bin can mean whole tranches are tipped in landfill.

Actually, I will revise my initial assessment……we are terrible people. The worst.

Charged with being a good CEO to that nine year old, my plan is to set an example and be a good citizen……the best. It’s all on us, remember. 

Exhibit A……an empty Pringles tube. Snack size obviously……I’m not made of money. Sour cream and onion……in case you were wondering.

I set about trying to decode the baffling recycling symbols that are clearly a secret language that’s nigh on impossible to decode and far too confusing to be effective. I checked the symbol and did the honourable thing of asking Mr Google to decode the symbol. The result……“widely recycled”, which is excellent, but then adds: “as accepted by 75% of local authorities’’.

So am I one of the lucky 75%? I don’t have to phone my council, do I? I really don’t want to turn into ‘that person’. I know it’s absolutely inevitable that I will but I am doing my best to hold off for a few years before I morph.

I look on Darlington Borough Council’s website. Nothing about sour cream Pringles. But crisp packets……they’re a “no”. Then I note that under the symbol on the tube it says in tiny letters: “lid”. So only the lid is recyclable? And only by 75% of local authorities? Is my council a lid-accepter? I go back to their website. Nothing on lids.

I decide to move on to the next symbol on the Pringles. It says “tube” up top and then “recycle at recycling point”. “Do not recycle at home”. Where is this recycling point they talk of? I go to the Pringles website for guidance.

They have “Bring Banks”, apparently. I can do that. I can bring my empty tube to a Bring Bank. I scour the list of locations and my nearest is a 98 mile round trip involving paying to use the Tyne Tunnel (which will cost more than the Pringles).

Or I could go by public transport and it will take 6 hours. I appreciate it’s not most people’s idea of a day out but it’s school holidays and we have one planet (and all that).

But what’s this? They also have “drop-off points”. What are these mysterious drop-off points that pretty much everyone knows nothing of? I get redirected to a company called TerraCycle to learn that these points are run by members of the public who basically volunteer as a collector. Brilliant……my kind of people.

The volunteer is less than a mile away and I pass them on the way to the office. When I get there, it is a normal house. No recycling bin. No Pringles dayglo sign with an arrow pointing. What am I supposed to do? Knock? Post it through the letter box? Chuck the tube in the garden?

So here I am, having put in a day’s work on this……sitting here cuddling my empty tube……trying to keep it together. But it’s still all our fault. We must do better.

The Numbers

For me, too many people got waaaaaaaaay too excited over the inflation announcement this month……7.9% (down from 8.7%). Let’s be clear, this is still 4 times (give or take) the Bank of England target of 2%. Come back to me when we hit Rishi and Jezza’s magic 5% figure and I will still be utterly perplexed.

On the back of the inflation news, interest rates are predicted to rise less sharply. The Bank of England has put up rates 13 times since December 2021 to try to cool soaring price rises, driving up borrowing costs for millions. But it is now under less pressure to do so if inflation continues to fall. But will it continue?

Never have we seen such rapid interest rate rises, which makes it difficult to judge the stress points. There are going to be many losers in all this economic turmoil……it is just a case of who will be hit the hardest and some of the figures this month offer a clue.

- House prices fell at their fastest rate for 12 years, with higher mortgage costs and the cost of living squeeze putting buyers off.

- Then there is construction, with the rate of contraction in housebuilding the fastest in more than 14 years. UK brick sales last month were 27% lower than a year ago.

- There was a 27% increase in business insolvencies this month, compared to the same time last year.

- Then there is the Government, with borrowing costs rising to a 16 year high. This is expensive money for a Government whose debts are more than 100% of national income. If only we could grow GDP by 4%... increase our exports to the largest and geographically closest single market, reduce red tape and burden on small business. Oh yeah, thanks Brexit.

- The Government held emergency talks with the industry regulator in case the debt-laden Thames Water needs the option of nationalisation. Rising interest rates are piling pressure on leveraged companies across the sector, with Thames Water owing £14 billion (the highest debt ratio in the sector at more than 80%).

More optimistic news came from the US with inflation down to 3%, its lowest level for more than 2 years. That could mean US central bankers may finally pause their increases in borrowing costs over the next few months, easing fears that they would trigger a recession for the world’s largest economy.

My own favourite number this month……12C was the water temperature for the little lady’s first wild swim with me. 

Trump of the Month

An interesting month of candidate considerations……especially as Parliament is closed for the next 6 weeks as (apparently) there is not much going on at the moment that needs their attention.  

HMRC did their best to be considered, having made a right royal mess over recent times with the management of all things tax. Not content with such disorder, they have found a way to make things worse……by closing their self-assessment helpline until September. Offering no help on a complex process and matter is pure lunacy. 

BoJo had a good crack at muscling in on the action by naming his new born son Frank Alfred Odysseus Johnson.

For those not up to date with Greek mythology, Odysseus was the king of the island of Ithaca and well known among the Greeks as a most unique speaker, womaniser and a cunning trickster. How apt. 

And then there was NatWest……who kicked Nigel Farage out of their premier banking division (Coutts) as “his views do not align with our values”.

Really? And what values are they, given that NatWest had to be bailed out and are still part taxpayer owned? And what about your values when you held dictator General Pinochet (indicted for human rights violations committed in Chile) money as a client?

Do I agree with Nigel Farage’s political views? No. That’s a big NO.

Do I think banks should be able to close the accounts of people they disagree with politically? No.

Am I sick to death of hearing about Nigel Farage? YES.

When we rely on banks to set moral standards, we know we are in trouble. Sympathy is wasted on any of the participants in this story. Move on quickly.

Which leaves just one logical choice……the Trump of the Month for July is……Suella Braverman.

Suzy deserves huge credit for services to lunacy as every wheel came off her Rwanda Deportation Plan. The Government admitted the policy, which is designed to be a deterrent……won’t actually be a deterrent. It will also cost almost £170,000 per person deported.

The bill was torn to pieces by the House of Lords and then the entire policy was ruled illegal in the Royal Court of Justice. Rishi informed all that “I respect the court”. Suzy said that she “didn’t respect the court because it was rigged against the British people.

She went on to suggest courts should be abolished or ignored because “the majority of the British people demand a Rwanda policy” (really……the majority?).

And get this……she is the Home Secretary…..it is her actual job to uphold the legal system.  

Absolute nutter.

Trump Lunacy Rating: 10 / 10

And Finally……

“If history teaches anything, it teaches that self-delusion in the face of unpleasant facts is folly.”

Ronald Reagan

The Month That Was……June 2023

If ever there was a month to sum up the fast moving pace of politics, June was it.

In one week, Trump was indicted on 37 counts of espionage (how very Trump)……Sturgeon was arrested……Berlusconi was taken by the (presumably scantily clad) angels……Nadeen Dorries went on TV to say “the last thing I would want to do would be to cause a byelection in my constituency” and yet four hours later she resigned with immediate effect, causing a byelection in her constituency……and, inevitably, there was Boris Johnson.

I don’t know about you but I have BoJo fatigue. I am just exhausted having to bear witness to yet another of his dramas playing out relating to covid parties. 

The spine of the biography of BoJo has his relationship with the truth running straight down it. Sacked from The Times for making up a quote. Sacked from the Conservative front bench for lying about an affair. And now the Partygate enquiry confirmed he lied.

The report was brutal……but not shocking. The report’s breadth and depth simply demolished BoJo’s character and conduct and confirmed yet again that he is not great with the truth.

For me, the report was never about parties during Covid. It is about the fundamental pillars upon which public life and society at large is constructed. Conduct. Behaviour. Believability. Integrity. The sanctity of truth. The contempt for lies. BoJo’s behaviour and moral compass couldn’t be further from this.

The report confirmed our suspicions and suggested an unprecedented 90 day suspension from Parliament as punishment (triggering a by-election). But BoJo did what BoJo does……took no ownership, did a runner by stepping down (avoiding a further show of no confidence in a by-election) and deflected attention by accusing the committee of mounting a "witch hunt" against him that is determined to "drive me out of Parliament". He jumped before he was pushed.

What I find fascinating is the media losing their minds over a 90-day suspension yet this is the man who has literally been touring the world making £4 million doing speaking gigs whilst missing 187 Commons votes in the process. I’m embarrassed for you.

Just 40 weeks ago, BoJo was Prime Minister……the figurehead of a Government with a huge majority. But then……

41% of his MPs voted against him in a confidence vote. 72 ministers resigned to get rid of him. He was found guilty by Sue Gray, fined by Met Police and found to have lied during the cover up by an independent committee.

Catapulted first to the backbenches and now out of Parliament too. The demolition of BoJo’s career by his own peers has been brutally quick.

People who say Boris Johnson came to power, achieved nothing, partied during lockdown and then ran off in scandal are forgetting……he built 40 imaginary hospitals.

Good riddance. We deserve better.

 

The Numbers

The big news of the month was the announcement that annualised wage growth increased from 6.7% to 7.2%...... the fastest rate in 20 years. This has raised concerns that employers would try to pass on the extra costs through higher selling prices and fuelling inflation rather than cooling it. 

Ever willing to show how little he understands inflation, Rishi boasted during PM Questions that “we are delivering the fastest wage growth in years”.

It was an extraordinary boast for a few reasons.

1) Wage growth is a big reason why interest rates are still rising and why the Bank of England will continue increasing them. Mortgage pain is in the post for many. More than 400,000 people will see their existing fixed rate deals end between July and September and the cost of remortgaging has soared by nearly 40%. It is no wonder that house prices are falling at their fastest pace in nearly 14 years……it’s not a sexy time to borrow money.

2) “Fastest wage growth” is mainly in the private sector, over which the Government has no control except in respect of setting the minimum wage.

3) Downing Street and the Treasury have been furiously trying to suppress wage increases in schools, hospitals and the rest of the public sector because they regard inflation as THE problem.

4) Even with this “fastest wage growth in years”, most people on average are poorer because inflation is even faster / higher.

5) The Government’s 2-year borrowing costs have risen above 5% for the first time in 15 years amid mounting expectations that the Bank of England will continue to lift interest rates in forthcoming months.

I’m embarrassed for you Rishi.

Given the wage growth level, there was little surprise that the inflation data for the month showed inflation remained at 8.7% despite hopes of a fall. The exceptionally grim part of our inflation outbreak is food inflation, which is still running at 18.4%.

If inflation isn’t under control soon, the Bank of England will raise rates to a level where a recession next year becomes inevitable. As a Chancellor said 34 years ago, "if it isn't hurting, it isn't working".

So, the Bank of England decided to test our pain threshold a little further by increasing the base rate by 0.5% to 5.0%. It is the 13th increase in a row and the rate now stands at its highest level for nearly 15 years.

The Government knows that it will feel the wrath of voters in next year’s General Election who are seeing their household income squeezed. Let’s see how creative they get in tackling this. 

The big number for me was the little lady finisning 1st in the school sports day (hurdles). Priceless.

Trump of the Month

The Trump of the Month award for June 2023 for services to lunacy can only be……Boris Johnson.

No further questions your honour.

Trump Lunacy Rating: 10 / 10

 

And Finally……

“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.”

George Washington

The Month That Was……May 2023

There are occasions in life that stop you in your tracks and you consume a symbolic moment that sets the agenda for future chapters of modern history. May 2023 was symbolic on many levels for me.

- I thought the coronation of King Charges III was everything it should be. Historic and momentous, with just enough profoundness and eccentricity. How very British. 

- The realisation that there is no greater lie than “Serves 4”. It’s all around us but no one is talking about it. We treat it in good faith as an accurate estimate. But it’s not. Two is accurate….four is not. There are three of us in our house and we live in a world that totally excludes us. It’s a four family world out there.

- The outlandish situation that allows Australia to redefine centuries of established geographical and political boundaries by being considered part of Europe for the Eurovision Song Contest. How very Eurovision.

- My stark realisation that there is now only one company legally allowed to make the game Monopoly. A monopoly of Monopoly if you will.

- The even starker realisation that our inflation target of 2% is due to a historical accident and is not based on any political, economic or fiscal theory.  

This stopped me in my tracks for all the wrong reasons……

It all started in 1989, when Don Brash of the New Zealand Kiwifruit Authority accepted the position of head of the Central Bank of New Zealand. Appearing to have no understanding of basic economics, he and his finance minister devised a plan to combat the surging price inflation of the '70s and '80s. The grand master plan was simply to announce he would try to get inflation somewhere between 0% and 2%. That was literally it.

But it created a kind of magic of its own. Merely by announcing the goals for inflation, New Zealand made that result a reality. Luckily for Brash, inflation in New Zealand was 7.6% in 1989 when the target started and only 2% percent by the end of 1991.

This accelerated the idea that 2% was a decent idea. Canada, Sweden and Britain soon followed……and then came the big one……the United States followed.

So the next time you wince at interest rates going up again, just remember that the political, economic and fiscal theory of the UK’s 2% inflation target is based on a 30 year old whim from a kiwi fruit farmer from a country that makes up 0.11% of the total world economy.

You couldn’t make this stuff up. How very Bank of England. 

The Numbers

Yet again, all eyes were on three key Bank of England announcements this month.

Announcement #1 was a further increase to interest rates from 4.25% to 4.50% (their highest levels in almost 15 years) to encourage inflation to fall from 10.1%.

This presented more mortgage pain as the 0.25% interest rate rise adds £12 billion to UK mortgage holder payments.

The implications of the twelfth interest rate rise in a row will be far reaching. We never had such intense interest rate increases in an 18 month period before and the concern is where the casualties will come from.

The obvious answer is homeowners with a mortgage who have seen significant rises to service debt levels. Perhaps the biggest issue is still to come though……42% (1.8 million mortgages) are due to be refinanced in 2023 or 2024. Jumping from paying 1.5% to 3.5 – 4.0% looks like a painful event that hasn’t been factored in.

Announcement #2 later in the month saw inflation falling to 8.7% per cent from 10.1%. This was quite a way above the expected announcement (8.2%), creating anxiety that interest rates would now need to be raised to even higher levels.

And this is the conundrum for the Bank of England……how much interest rate pain are they willing to throw at the UK to get to the 2% inflation target set by a kiwi farmer 34 years ago? It is impossible to reach a 2% inflation target when average wage increases in the UK are running at 6.7% p.a. to help combat food price inflation remaining close to historic highs at 19.1%.

While the Bank of England muddle through that riddle, markets now think that UK interest rates will have to keep rising, even as the likes of the US Federal Reserve and European Central Bank consider pausing their aggressive measures.

Try not to laugh the next time Rishi or Jezza try to conveniently forget their promise to half inflation by Autumn!

Announcement #3 was the news that the UK was no longer heading towards recession. It was only 6 months ago that the Bank of England was expecting the longest recession on record, lasting until 2024. However, there were warnings that unemployment could almost double by 2025 but that might not be a bad thing given the current 1.1 million job vacancies are driving up wages.

Elsewhere……

The UK car industry continues to be battered from every which way. Thanks to the ongoing patheticness of Government attempts to encourage the use of electric cars ahead of the 2030 cessation of petrol car production, electric vehicle take-up runs at around 6 x the pace of charger installation. An electric car is about as useful for getting around England as a horse and cart with no horse (and I speak from experience!).

Centre Parcs was put up for sale by its Canadian owners seeking around £5 billion for the company. Presumably this rises to £125 billion if purchased during the school holidays.

The Conservatives lost more than 1,060 seats in the local elections, with Labour gaining more than 530 and the Liberal Democrats (remember them……how very retro) more than 400. Bizarrely, such capitulation was seen as a success by Rishi as the Tories were expecting it to be worse!

As I said earlier, King Charles III coronation will live long in the memory. You cannot beat a long, live, momentous event to watch humans’ definition of ‘appropriate’ while under immense pressure. It’s a fascinating watch. 2,300 guests watched on by a UK TV audience of 20 million saw the oldest (74)  monarch coronated. This was the 40^th coronation to take place at Westminster Abbey since 1066, which involved 4,000 armed forces personnel and 19 military bands.

Anyone else come to the realisation that it is no longer possible for any Royal occasion to be conducted without Gary Barlow headlining? Perhaps the wrong person was coronated!

Trump of the Month

The warmer weather brought out the village idiots from hibernation and offered an abundance of candidates this month. 

Suella Braverman admitted that she asked civil servants to help her dodge a speeding fine by trying to organise a personal speed awareness course behind closed doors. In completely unrelated news, Rishi cleared her of any wrong doing 5 minutes after Suella announced that she wasn’t going to run as opposition to Rishi in the next leadership contest. The arrogance of power personified.

Penny Mordaunt drew admiration for her Coronation outfit and her upper body strength. The press decided that she stole the show by holding aloft the 8lb (3.6kg) sword of state for 51 minutes. Penny told the Times Radio she had “been doing some press-ups to train for that”.

Her odds were slashed to second favourite to replace Rishi as the next leader of the Conservative Party as apparently carrying a sword in a Star Wars costume is now the most appropriate criteria to be Tory leader. What a state for a political party to get in. Absolute lunacy.

For me though, Liz Truss stole the show as she had the audacity to attend the Coronation and sit in the former Prime Minister corner……like an actor who appeared in one episode of Doctor Who, who now sells signed memorabilia on eBay. “Viewers will remember that, in September, Liz Truss was briefly prime minister,” the ITV commentator said. Sassy.

Diane Abbott sent a letter to the Observer in which she said that racism and prejudice were different things and implied that there was a hierarchy of racism. Certain types of racism should be racism and other types should be reclassified as prejudice (Irish people, travellers, and Jews). Her excuse was that it was sent in error as the letter was an “initial draft”.

Really? So many things have to go wrong for it to be an “error” and end up in the Observer. (1) you write a racist draft (2) you open an email (3) you add an attachment (4) you click send on the email.  

The outcome? She has not been sacked and instead has had the whip removed. Oh, yeah……that’ll teach her. Farcical. 

Hot on the heels was Andrew Bridgen who said “the vaccine rollout has been the worst thing since the holocaust.” What is it these seemingly intelligent MP’s are lacking……well, er, intelligence. 

And no month would be complete without the mention of The Trump himself.

He started the month by telling supporters that “Joe Biden is the most corrupt President in American history.” Oh, Donald……you are far too modest.

However, the Trump of the Month award for May 2023 for services to lunacy can only be……Boris Johnson (with a side order of Rachel Johnson).

Legal investigations into BoJo and Downing Street parties have continued behind the scenes. BoJo had a cunning plan to show once and for all that he was innocent…..he handed over his diaries to prove that he wasn’t at Downing Street on those dates to attend parties.

However, the diaries proved he was breaking the rules elsewhere with social gatherings at Chequers! It was made all the more beautiful by the joy that this was discovered when his lawyers were preparing his defence for the inquiry.

And just for good measure, his sister wheeled herself out to media outlets in defence of her brother by declaring “all the rules were followed whenever I went to Chequers.” So you followed all the rules, bar the one that prohibited you being there in the first place!

Just to be crystal clear, run that past me one more time. What you’re saying Miss Johnson, on record, to the nation, on TV, is that as a family member visiting Chequers, all the rules were followed at a time when family members weren’t allowed to see fellow family members. Check. Mate.

It’s amazing how the Johnson family collective have more arrogance than intelligence.

Absolute madness.

Trump Lunacy Rating: 10 / 10

And Finally……

"The only thing more dangerous than ignorance is arrogance."

Albert Einstein