It has been brought to my attention recently that I occasionally (which may seem quite frequent if you are married to me) find myself not fully concentrating on a conversation that involves other members of the marital relationship.
Now, I am sure that the point has been well
researched by the accuser, but I also feel that there are 10 legitimate excuses
for checking out of conversations (stimulating or otherwise):
- When there is only one roast potato left.
- When someone is making a cup of tea like a
complete amateur.
- When the dishwasher is not stacked in the
right order, angles and sequences.
- While noticing a table in a busy pub is about
to become free.
- When you see someone eating soup with a big
moustache.
- When your food hasn’t arrived but everyone
else’s has.
- When you see someone putting the cream on the
scone before the jam.
- When the thing you ordered in Argos has
appeared on the shelf behind the counter but the staff keep calling out other people’s
ticket numbers.
- When there’s one parking space left and
another driver is nearer but hasn’t spotted it yet.
- When you are standing in a queue and someone
is about to jump in front of you.
For me, these are the 10 sacred scenarios where
tuning out of a conversation is authorised. In fact, it really should be added
to marriage vows. It just helps to formalise things and stop a lifetime of
frustration (and earache).
It’s a simple win in my eyes and I’m pretty
sure the rate of divorce would drop.
You’re welcome.
The Numbers
There was a very stars and stripes angle to the
numbers this month. Well, a little more than normal.
The Trump was afforded a State visit, at an
estimated cost to the taxpayer of £14 million. However, the UK’s collective
gritting of teeth, shaking of heads and questioning of moral compass was all
about US investment in the UK.
There were various announcements and £150
billion of investment from US firms during The Trump’s visit was confirmed.
Labour claimed that the package of deals is the largest ever to be associated
with a State visit and will create more than 7,000 jobs.
Microsoft made the largest financial commitment
in the UK, pledging £22 billion to invest in AI infrastructure.
It was interesting that The Trump delayed the
news until after the visit that US buyers of UK exports have paid $1.4
billion in tariffs in the 4 months since liberation day……a 6-fold
increase on the same period in 2024. For perspective, imports from China
garnered the most tariff revenue at $36 billion.
The Fed made a 0.25% cut to US interest
rates……the first this year. The 12-member voting committee reduced
borrowing costs after policymakers said they were worried about a slowdown in
the jobs market.
And what of that jobs market? The US added just
22,000 jobs this month (way below the target of 150,000), raising
fears that growth in the world’s largest economy is stalling. Obviously The
Trump did what he always does……diverting the blame……accusing The Fed of
reducing interest rates too slowly.
A little closer to home……
The State Pension is on course to rise by 4.7%
in April in line with earnings growth……adding even more pressure on the Government
ahead of the Budget. Average weekly earnings rose to 4.7%, higher than
inflation or 2.5% measures as part of the triple lock.
It will lift the basic state pension (for those
retiring after April 2016) to £12,534 in 2026. Alarmingly, the uplift
means the State Pension could exceed the personal allowance threshold of £12,570
from 2027 for the first time if the Government makes no changes. Yet another
mess in the post for the Government to deal with.
Spending on pensioners is likely to reach at
least £180 billion by the end of the decade, according to the Office for
Budget Responsibility.
On top of this, data from the Office for
National Statistics (ONS) published showed that the Government borrowed £18
billion for the month. It is the highest total for the month since 2020, at
the height of the pandemic, and up by £3.5 billion compared with the
same month last year.
And then just for good measure……Britain’s
long-term borrowing costs hit another 27-year high at 5.72%.
The amount of debt and the cost of the debt has
put Rachel Reeves under mounting pressure, with the black hole in public
finances likely to have increased from £30 billion to £40 billion.
Tax rises are coming……26th November will reveal all!
On a lighter note…..my favourite number of the
month was……7……the new school year for the (not so) little lady. Primary
School is soooooo last year.
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Oh my goodness, ambassador you are spoiling us.
Such a rich choice of absolute madness this month with four outstanding
candidates for Trump of the Month.
Candiate #1: Peter Banjamin Mandelson
Mandy served as the British Ambassador to the
United States until his sacking this month.
I'm not saying Peter Mandelson writing a 10 page
birthday message to Jeffrey Epstein means he did anything, I'm just saying
personally, I struggle to fill in the bit of free space in a birthday card when
I'm writing to anyone I've ever loved. AI is doing a lot of lifting for me
these days on the heartfelt message.
Calling Epstein your “best pal” and still
surviving 214 days in post is incredible given Mandy’s levels of stupidity on
offer. Damn it……it’s almost admirable.
Coming under fire for backing Mandy when
rumours were rife, Keir confirmed at PM Q’s that "I have confidence in him."
A few hours later a hoard of 100 previously secret emails between Mandy and
Epstein were revealed. Steer Clear Keir then sacked Mandy 24 hours later.
Is it just me or should there not be an element
of background checking on anybody holding a public position……let alone one of
such significance in the US? Maybe a simple question or two like…… “was your
best friend the most famous convicted sex offender in US history?” Just a
thought.
Givin the vast number of photos in the public
domain of Mandy and Epstein socialising, Keir’s levels of buffoonery are
amazing……yet he still remains in post.
Forever setting the consistent craziness standards
for others to follow, The Trump was in prime idiot mode this month.
In his address to the UN (who thought that was
a good idea?), his speech covered everything from Venezuelan drug cartels to
the lack of air conditioning in Europe. Apparently, global warming was a “hoax.”
He then stated that “I’m really good at this stuff” and “your country’s are
going to hell.”
My favourite claim was that he had resolved 7 “unendable”
wars as he stepped up his campaign for the Nobel Peace Prize. Interestingly,
there was no mention of ending the fighting in Gaza or Ukraine despite his
claims that he could end them in a day when elected.
Earlier in the month The Trump signed an
executive order reverting the name of the Department of Defence to the
Department of War. Nothing quite says “Nobel Peace Prize” quite like changing a
department name to “WAR”. And just for good measure, the Pentagon’s public
affairs briefing room will be known as the Pentagon War Annex. His lunacy has
no limits.
Angie started the month with a pap shot of her in
Brighton in an inflatable canoe, vaping. At the time, I thought that perhaps
this is the first time I’ve ever felt truly represented by a politician.
Perhaps. But it ended with her being sacked.
For those living underground for the month,
Angie bought a second house hundreds of miles away from her constituency in
Brighton, claimed that it would be her main residence and saved £40,000 in
additional stamp duty tax to pay on the purchase as a second property. Tax
avoidance……how very Tory.
Angie invested a lot of political capital
attacking the Tories about tax avoidance prior to the 2024 General Election. Clearly,
she should not be setting the rules when she fails to keep them herself……and
Keir stood her down.
You could (perhaps) make the argument that the
rules are a little confusing as UK tax law runs to 10 million words. For
perspective, Hong Kong is 150,000 words. For full effect……the full works of
Shakespeare is 1 million words.
However, with all the love one might have for
another human being, Angie works in the Government. Why didn't she just ask the
relevant person (she must be surrounded by many experts on any taxation schemes
one could imagine) how much she had to pay BEFORE underpaying her taxes. If Angie
didn’t understand how it worked then how are the rest of us supposed to?
Perhaps she should have checked Government website, which has a refreshingly
simple calculator for such things.
An embarrassment of riches this month. Four
very worthy candidates and all deserve to be awarded The Trump of the Month.
I’ll let you decide. Answers on a postcard to
the usual address.
Trump Lunacy Rating: 10 / 10
And Finally……
“Nothing in the world is more dangerous
than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”
Martin Luther King
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