June has been a funny old month of jumping from one video conference to another for regulatory briefings, pension legislation changes and economic guidance. I know……living the dream. It really feels like death by webinar.
One of the most disturbing things I have learnt
is that we are now morphing into a completely different language. And quite
frankly, I am baffled by the moronic meaningless maunder.
“Just to bring you up to speed and take a deep
dive before we circle back and drill down on the granular detail” was the
opening line from Hugo on my webinar last week. When Hugo caught someone
smirking on video (it wasn’t me, I was wiping the blood from my eye as I had
stuck a fork in it) he responded with “I am pivoting to get you up to speed so
you can hit the ground running and start on a level playing field.” Wow……and
this was from a compliance consultant.
The day before, Casandra provided detailed
analysis of new pension legislation by delivering “no one is trying to reinvent
the wheel here, I’m just reaching out to run a few ideas up the flagpole and
see who grabs the low-hanging fruit.” And just for good measure, apparently it
is “going to require a paradigm shift in your attitude and a step change in gear.”
When I reached my third webinar of the week, I
quickly looked to see who was presenting…….Dave. Thank goodness for that. A
proper steady name and one that won’t be new-world brown box thinking. That was
until the second minute when he let me down with “no one is trying to reinvent
the playing field because I just wanted to loop you into a holistic approach
from the get-go.” That handy fork was now in my other eye.
Perhaps the most disturbing thing of all is
that the linguistic disease is highly contagious. I have since found myself
“putting ducks in a row”, “getting plenty of boots on the ground”, “optimising
the visuals” and “synergise to energise”.
Be very careful out there guys as it’s like the
wild west as the sound bar is totally transmittable.
I’m off for some blue sky thinking to ensure I
am an early adopter to move the needle on all things mission critical to ensure
core competency.
Or alternatively, shoot me now.
The Numbers
This month’s numbers were dominated by Rachel
Reeves Spending Review and announcement to Parliament.
First, there is the speech from the chancellor
in the Commons: the political rhetoric and the numbers often designed to sound
big but which are often incomprehensible. Then there are accompanying documents……in
this instance in particular a blue-covered, 128 page tome crammed with
words, numbers and graphs.
And as the detail is pored over, elements that
were not put up in lights by the chancellor become clearer.
The main political message of the spending
review was to announce plans to “renew Britain”, betting that £20 billion
a year in extra funding for public infrastructure such as railways, roads and
power would spur the economy and improve living standards by the time voters go
to the polls. Reeves promised an extra £29 billion a year for the NHS
and cut spending elsewhere to channel money to “our most treasured public
service”.
Reeves’s ferociously tight numbers leave no
room for downturns, pay strikes, trade wars or shooting wars. Her plans also
depend on £14 billion in hazily detailed “efficiency savings”.
Significant tax rises look far more likely come the next Budget in Autumn.
Public spending is running at 44% of
GDP, a historic high. Taxes, too, are historically high and universally
expected to go higher.
Her report highlighted that, not only have we
been spending like crazy (not least because of the pandemic) but we’ve been
spending money we don’t have. The resulting annual bill of more than £100
billion just to cover the interest on our debts is quite the burden.
These numbers can be hard to put into context
so consider this way of looking at it……we are now spending £23,757 for
every adult in this country, which is roughly 65% of the average
full-time salary (£37,500). That includes £3,807 on health, £5,817
on welfare and pensions and a shocking £1,955 for that debt bill.
Now, just for a bit of fun……restrict the
calculation to those of working age and spending is above £30,000 a
head. Factor in economic inactivity and the state is spending nearly as much as
workers aged 18 to 65 are earning.
This is very obviously not sustainable, so is
Rachel Reeves the right person to find the solution?
Elsewhere……
Love or loath, Amazon is ploughing in another £40
billion to the UK over the next 3 years for yet more expansion plans. Amazon
is now one of the UK’s top 10 private employers with 75,000 members
of staff.
My favourite number this month was……800……the
little lady put on a fine display in the 800 metres at sports day.
.jpg)
Trump of the Month
There was some classic lunacy at front and
centre stage this month and it wasn’t hard to find.
Elon Musk and The Trump ended their bromance
over social media in a tit-for-tat slanging match in response to Musk
disagreeing with The Trump’s proposed economic bill. Musk declared "I'm
the reason Trump won!" and that The Trump was on "Epstein’s client
list!" What Musk failed to mention is that he spent $275 million to elect
a man he apparently knew to be ‘associated’ with Epstein. Crazy.
The Trump rose the lunacy stakes further by
placing a travel ban on 12 countries after the targeted Boulder terror attack,
yet didn’t ban the country where the attacker was from (Egypt).
There are clues as to why that is the case……the
US and Egypt have a strong defence alliance……a partnership that the US calls a
"pillar for regional stability". Egypt is one of the biggest
beneficiaries of US economic and military aid in the Middle East, receiving a
total of $1.4 billion from US agencies.
Then there was The Trump bombing Iran. In typical
fashion……he created a problem……backed down……said he solved the problem……patted himself
on the back.
All worthy, but this month’s Trump of the Month
for absolute dedication to lunacy is……Daniel Hannan. I have waited 9 long
years for this.
What you might not be aware of is that June
2025, is also a symbolic month……this is the date that featured in an article
written by Conservative Party member, Vote Leave co-founder and former MEP……Daniel
Hannan.
In his piece written two days before the
referendum, Hannan invited us to cast our minds forward to June 2025 and
imagine a utopian world where Britain is no longer part of the European Union.
He writes of Independence Day celebrations with fireworks, improved relations
with the EU and a country where the economy, democracy and liberty have all
been reinvigorated thanks to nine years outside the EU.
Meanwhile, in Hannan’s imaginary world, the EU
“continues to turn inwards, clinging to its dream of political amalgamation as
the euro and migration crises worsen. Its population is ageing, its share of
world GDP shrinking and its peoples protesting.”
And the article goes on like this for several
paragraphs of sunlit Brexit uplands.
Of course, none of this has come to pass.
Instead, Brexit has left the UK isolated, had a disastrous impact on the
economy and is widely acknowledged by even the staunchest Brexiteers as being a
failure of epic proportions.
And what of Hannan now? What was his punishment
for misleading voters? A peerage to the House of Lords by none other
than……Boris Johnson. If anybody knows anything about lunacy and being rewarded
for failure, it’s Bo Jo.
Good luck explaining that to any rational
person. UK political craziness as its finest.
Trump Lunacy Rating: 10 / 10
And Finally……
“One person's craziness is another
person's reality.”
Tim Burton
